English jokes

What Is The Difference Between Guilt And Shame ??

Its Guilt To Sleep With Another Woman... But ... Its A Shame To Miss The Opportunity.
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If Microsoft Buy Facebook
-
.
.
First Notification We’ll Get is . .
“You Have To Install Drivers To Add Friends”  
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According to parents,
Every problem has only
One solution,
.
“Just throw away the phone and cut down the internet connection”:p:D
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A guy asked a girl in a library; “Do you mind if I sit beside you”?
The girl answered with a loud voice; "I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!”
All the students in the library stared at the guy and he was embarrassed. After a couple of minutes, the
girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and she told him “I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed
right?"
The guy responded with a
loud voice: "$200 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!!!? THAT’S TOO MUCH!!!"
...and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears; “I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty"

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Yesterday i named my Wifi ” hack if you can ”
.
.
.
Today when i woke up it was changed to
“challenge accepted”  
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21st century kids standing in a museum,
 looking at a Egyptian mummy with 1227BC written below.
1st kid: What does that mean?
2nd kid: Must be his BBM pin…
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When Mom wants to find out where I’m in the House,
.
.
.
she simply Turns oFF The Wi-Fi …
Damn! Dis Trick Always Work…

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When I was kid I was going to change the world. &
 Today if the remote is on the other end of the couch, I don’t even change the channel…

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love photography because it’s the only hobby
where i can shoot people and cut their heads off, without going to jail…
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Dad entered son’s room and found him asleep. Walked closer, caressed his hair & BANG slapped his face and said..
Last seen on WhatsApp 1 min ago…
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A young man agreed to baby-sit one night so a single mother could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football.
One child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept sending him back to bed.
At 9pm the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor, Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, "No."

Just then a little head appeared over the banister and shouted, "I'm here, Mom, but he won't let me go home!"